{"title":"training","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"after-the-affair","title":"After the Affair: Decoding the Sexual Blueprint for Betrayal Disclosure","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eElevate your practice: Gain confidence and expertise in navigating affair disclosures and transforming unhealthy relationship patterns\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCouples struggle with the impact on their relationship of changing cultural narratives. Traditionally, in Western European cultures people had limited romantic partner options and settled into committed, monogamous heterosexual relationships for life. Affairs and other indiscretions were addressed by the church and couples should ‘stay together for the sake of the children.’ This narrative is changing and ‘once a cheater always a cheater’ and ‘you can do better’ encourage separation. At the same time online dating apps and the visibility of ethically non-monogamous life-styles lead many couples and individuals to question the role or need of commitment within relationships. At the same time increasing social isolation means that the expectations for social, emotional and intimate support within relationships are These societal changes highlight the prevalence of ‘trust breaches’ within relationships. Often an individual’s behavior is driven by their developmental history of which they are generally unaware of. This presentation examines Presence Oriented Relationship Therapy’s Sexual and Developmental Blueprint which is designed to help individuals understand the developmental, behavioural, contextual, social and emotional drivers of their sexual and relational behaviour. Relationship counselors need to help clients identify their values, beliefs, longings as well as their sexual and developmental history.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCreating this developmental and sexual map or blueprint is not something that is typically taught systematically and often relies on the therapist’s own formulation (which may or may not be articulated).  Yet this deprives the client of the opportunity to more fully explore and articulate their own understanding of their life narrative and to have this available for future explaining and updating.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Certified Sex Addiction Therapy (CSAT) model is one of the few approaches that tends to try and develop this blueprint for use within a “Full Disclosure’ process where a sex addict discloses all of their sexual acting out behaviour to a partner.  However the CSAT model has limitations for couples work which include an individual focus, abstinence as a goal, complete disclosure which is often an unnecessarily long and painful process. Furthermore the CSAT model presumes sex addiction and many betraying partners are not sex addicts.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePresence-Oriented Relationship Therapy (PORT) has developed a hybrid model integrating some of the CSAT process with the Erotic Blueprint, components of the Adult Attachment Inventory and PORT's Relational Brain Model. Combining clinical insights within the ideas of these counselling modalities, the Sexual and Developmental Blueprint gives counsellors a structured process to help support clients through developing their own sexual and developmental blueprint.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePORT’s Sexual and Developmental Blueprint is a new project that is designed to help clients gain insight into their past sexual and relational behavior. It utilizes the concepts of the \"4 loves\" to identify and explain sexual and relational milestones correlating with PORT's Relational Brain Model. The protocol takes place over 16 week using desensitization principles to manage shame, narrative principles to identify strengths, identification of unexpressed desires and urges. While the original purpose of PORT’s Sexual and Developmental Blueprint is to help couples dealing with infidelity increase their level of insight and self-compassion the Developmental and Sexual Blueprint can be used for a wide range of therapeutic purposes.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAffair therapy is not primarily motivated by either keeping the couple together or separating them. Positive outcomes are based on either increased tru\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003est and commitment in a continued relationship or mitigating betrayal shock and acrimony in separating partners. Completing the blueprint increases both partner’s insight into their sexual and relational desires and needs, decreasing impulsive or deceptive sexual and relational behaviors. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Thinkific","offers":[{"title":"Price","offer_id":49891890495779,"sku":"","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/8266\/9347\/files\/After_the_Affair_Decoding_the_Sexual_Blueprint_for_Betrayal_Disclosure.png?v=1727881370"},{"product_id":"borrowed-trust","title":"Borrowed Trust: A Therapeutic Tool for Healing from Infidelity","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTherapists who want their clients to trust and form loving relationships, will take a deep dive into how they can ‘lend trust’ to facilitate healing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIn his Book, \"What makes love last?: How to build trust and avoid betrayal,\" John Gottman has noted that trust is a primary factor in relationship happiness. After an affair or infidelity, a couple's ability to create and maintain trust is severely, if not completely, destroyed. Trust within a relationship is constructed from the interaction of each individual's sexual and developmental blueprint, their partner, and the early phases of the relationship cycle. Once trust is lost, couples often require an external trust source, typically from professionals or religious figures. This presentation will include a trust equation to help couples create trust and will explain the basics of Betrayal First Aid to aid the betrayed partner's regulation. Helping couples create trust and minimise the harm after betrayal are key to recovery after an affair and long term individual well-being.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTrust is fundamentally an attachment level construct shaped by an individual's developmental history and subsequent relationships.  This often remains an unconscious neurodevelopmental construct influenced by social, religious, and experiential factors. Limited or faulty trust beliefs and experiences within individuals and their relationships can engender significant negative long-term relational dissatisfaction and behaviour and poor health outcomes.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEnhancing counselors' understanding of trust as both a construct and a process can foster clients' insight into their experiences. Understanding the \"trust equation\" and how to rebuild trust provides a more measurable way to alter clients' lived experience of trust and help them engage with more efficacy in the work of rebuilding trust. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor therapists, understanding the power of \"borrowed trust\" can help them strengthen the therapeutic alliance with the couple.  ‘Borrowed Trust’ also means that the therapist’s presence literally makes the couple feel safer with each other. Intentionally developing the ‘Borrowed Trust’ will dramatically increase the effectiveness of the therapeutic endeavour and help counselors avoid pitfalls like taking sides, making impossible promises, or validating gaslighting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDiscovering a partner's infidelity precipitates a crisis, with the betrayed individual experiencing \"betrayal shock\" and attempting to reestablish equilibrium—often with unintended consequences. The risk of this shock evolving into trauma hinges on the information received by the betrayed partner, underscoring counselors' responsibility to understand the process and effects of betrayal.  Betrayal first aid is an extension and development of borrowed trust which encompasses targeted brief interventions and psychoeducation to support the betrayed partner in the initial post-betrayal period.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Thinkific","offers":[{"title":"Price","offer_id":49891892068643,"sku":"","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/8266\/9347\/files\/Borrowed_Trust_A_Therapeutic_Tool_for_Healing_from_Infidelity_1.png?v=1727882524"},{"product_id":"4-loves","title":"The 4 Loves: The Sexual Blueprint from Insecure Attachment to Mature Love - January 29","description":"\u003ch2 class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"css-1dyr6n3 emv4zb86\"\u003eA Journey from Insecure Attachment to Mature Love\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eLove as commitment, intimacy and passion is a journey that begins in infancy and unfolds throughout our lives. Each stage of love development lays the foundation for the next, influencing our capacity for mature, fulfilling relationships. Understanding these stages is key to recognizing patterns in our own love lives and cultivating the deep connections clients crave. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eObjectives:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eIdentify how the four loves create a sexual and relational profile for clients\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eExplore common problems and subsequent reenactment cycles many people face\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eIdentify how the sexual and developmental blueprint allows clients to alter relationship patterns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eExplore the use of the sexual and developmental blueprint for reducing recidivism after an affair\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eIdentify how the Relational Brain Model helps couples move from insecure attachment to mature love\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003ch5 class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"css-1dyr6n3 emv4zb86\"\u003eStage 1: First Love (0-9 months) - The Imprint of Unconditional Acceptance\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h5\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eOur first experience of love occurs in the first six to nine months of life. As helpless infants, we are completely dependent on our caregivers and highly receptive to imprinting. The love formed during this stage is a deep sense of being held and unconditionally accepted. This imprint is not gender-specific; it's about absorbing the mix of masculine and feminine touch and nurture from both parents. It's the feeling of dad's stubble and scent, mum's softness and smell, and the relief of intimate care. This first love sets the stage for a lifelong need for deep acceptance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch5 class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"css-1dyr6n3 emv4zb86\"\u003eStage 2: Second Love (4-6 years) - Emerging Identity and Sexual Awareness\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h5\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eBetween ages four and six, our focus shifts to the opposite-gender parent. This stage is about discovering how we relate to the other and emerging as a sexual being. Little girls may express a desire to marry dad, while little boys may feel in competition with dad for mum's attention. This stage primes us to seek the \"other\" outside the family and establishes our understanding of ourselves as distinct yet connected to our caregivers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch5 class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"css-1dyr6n3 emv4zb86\"\u003eStage 3: Adolescent Love - Self-Discovery and Secure Base\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h5\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eIn adolescence, our orientation shifts from family to peers as we become aware of ourselves as sexual beings. This can be a challenging time of emotional upheaval and physical change. The task is to maintain a secure base of love from both parents, especially the opposite-gender parent, while exploring our emerging identities. This stage sets the stage for seeking love and validation outside the family.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch5 class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"css-1dyr6n3 emv4zb86\"\u003eStage 4: Mature Love - Integrated Intimacy\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h5\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eThe most challenging stage is mature love, where we integrate all previous experiences into the ability to love a partner while maintaining a strong sense of self. It's about reaching out to connect with another while avoiding loss of self. This requires the unconditional acceptance of first love, the secure base of third love, and the emerging identity of second love.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch5 class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"css-1dyr6n3 emv4zb86\"\u003eFrom Attachment to Mature Love: Breaking Patterns of Incomplete Love\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h5\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eWe often get stuck in these early stages, leading to cycles of reenactment and unfulfilling relationships. If we didn't receive the love and approval we needed, a part of us will unconsciously seek it in our adult relationships. The Relational Brain Model offers a powerful tool to work through these incomplete love patterns. By mapping our sexual and developmental blueprint, we can identify areas where we may be stuck and work towards integration and mature love. By understanding  these stages, we can break free from patterns of incomplete love and cultivate the deep, fulfilling connections we all desire. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003eJanuary 29, 2025: 11 AM - 1 PM NZST\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"css-qffaiu emv4zb87\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRegister to attend the live session or to get a video replay.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Thinkific","offers":[{"title":"Price","offer_id":49891897377059,"sku":"","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/8266\/9347\/files\/The_4_Loves_The_Sexual_Blueprint_from_Insecure_Attachment_to_Mature_Love.png?v=1727882311"},{"product_id":"comparing-couples-counselling","title":"Comparing Popular Couples Counselling Models - Practitioners view - April 2","description":"\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"OYPEnA font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003enlock the Secrets Behind Leading Couples Therapy Models\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"OYPEnA font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eCurious about what actually works in couples therapy? Join us for a free 1-hour webinar exploring the most influential models used by relationship therapists today. We’ll compare seven proven approaches—Gottman, EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), Imago, the Developmental Model, HEART, PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy), and PORT (Presence-Oriented Relationship Therapy)—to help you understand how each one approaches love, conflict, intimacy, and growth.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"OYPEnA font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eWhether you're a couple considering therapy, a coach or counselor wanting more insight, or just relationship-curious, this webinar will give you a clear overview of each method’s strengths, style, and what kind of couple each model works best for.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"OYPEnA font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eWalk away with a better understanding of how to choose the right fit for your relationship—or your clients.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Thinkific","offers":[{"title":"Price","offer_id":49891911827747,"sku":"","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/8266\/9347\/files\/To_Stay_or_Go_Ambivalence_Separation_or_Re-Commitment.png?v=1727882808"}],"url":"https:\/\/relate.online\/en-au\/collections\/training.oembed","provider":"Relate","version":"1.0","type":"link"}