Learn practical skills to strengthen your relationship
“What if our relationship gets stuck in a never-ending loop of chores, arguments, and distance?”
That’s a fear many couples share—especially those juggling jobs, kids, and day-to-day stresses. I’ve sat with more than a thousand couples at Relate, and while every story is unique, the underlying truth remains the same: most couples just need clear, practical relationship skills to keep their bond strong.
In this blog, we’ll look at 10 simple practices you can incorporate daily. These aren’t time-consuming or overly complicated; they’re easy steps that can transform how you connect with each other. One of these practices points you toward Relate’s School of Love, where you’ll find even more support. Three others reference the insights of popular relationship experts—because let’s face it, none of us can reinvent the wheel alone.
Ready for a few easy wins to enhance your relationship? Let’s begin.
1. Embrace the “Small Moments” Mindset
Sometimes we buy into the myth that only grand gestures (like a big Valentine’s dinner or a surprise holiday) prove love. But day-to-day interactions—like how you say good morning or respond to a text—are the real building blocks of intimacy.
How to Do It:
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Start the day with a warm greeting: Something more than “Hey.” Try a gentle touch, a smile, or a “How’d you sleep?”
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End the day with a check-in: Even 2 minutes of intentional conversation can reduce stress and build closeness.
Why It Works:
When you focus on small daily interactions, your partner feels seen and valued. This is what Dr. John Gottman calls “making regular deposits in your emotional bank account.” If you’d like to learn more about this concept, check out The Gottman Institute for insights on boosting positivity in everyday life.
2. Use a Simple Listening Technique
Conflict or emotional distance often arises when we feel unheard. Men, in particular, can sometimes jump into “fix it” mode instead of reflecting back what’s being said. Take a cue from Gary Chapman, famous for the Five Love Languages concept, who emphasises that quality time and attentive listening are crucial for many partners.
How to Do It:
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Look your partner in the eye and set aside distractions—phone down, TV off.
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Repeat or paraphrase what they say: “So you’re feeling overwhelmed by the workload?”
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Ask if you got it right. “Did I capture that okay?”
Why It Works:
This technique ensures the speaker feels fully heard, not rushed or dismissed. If you’re curious to dive deeper, visit Gary Chapman’s website for practical tips on active listening and showing love in ways that resonate.
3. Build a Ritual of Appreciation
When routines take over, it’s easy to focus on what’s wrong—who forgot groceries, who left a mess in the lounge. But flipping that script to notice what’s right can create a powerful shift in your relationship dynamic.
How to Do It:
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Set a daily reminder on your phone to notice something positive your partner did.
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Say it out loud—“I really appreciate how you made coffee this morning. It made my day.”
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Write a short note (even a text) praising an action or a trait: “I admire your patience.”
Why It Works:
This consistent positive feedback lowers defensiveness and fosters goodwill. Over time, your partner feels consistently valued, which boosts intimacy and reduces friction.
4. Sneak in Moments of Playfulness
Think back to when you were dating—laughter and play likely came more naturally. Life’s stresses can push humour aside, but rekindling it can bring instant warmth and connection.
How to Do It:
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Create mini-inside jokes only you two understand.
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Play a quick game (like a silly board game or guess-the-song challenge) after dinner.
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Tease gently—a playful nudge or a cheeky text—without crossing into sarcastic jabs.
Why It Works:
A shared laugh releases feel-good endorphins and reminds you that your relationship is about more than problem-solving. It’s the glue that keeps daily stresses from taking over.
5. Invest in Self-Growth Through Relate’s School of Love
Here’s one that’s especially powerful. People often assume therapy or relationship courses are for those in crisis. But proactive learning can prevent crises in the first place.
How to Do It:
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Visit Relate’s School of Love and explore courses designed to improve communication, conflict resolution, and emotional connection.
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Pick a course together and treat it like a fun project or hobby.
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Set a weekly time to watch lessons or do exercises.
Why It Works:
Learning fresh skills and insights from experts ensures you don’t rely on trial-and-error alone. Plus, working through a structured course together can rekindle a sense of teamwork and curiosity.
6. The 10-Second Hug to Boost Oxytocin
Physical touch isn’t just about sex. A quick 10-second hug can release oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” which reduces stress and increases feelings of closeness.
How to Do It:
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Pick a daily moment—when one of you returns from work or before bedtime.
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Embrace for at least 10 seconds, focusing on the warmth of the moment rather than rushing off.
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Exhale—literally breathe out tension as you hold each other.
Why It Works:
Research shows physical affection can significantly enhance relationship satisfaction, lowering the likelihood of conflicts spiralling out of control.
7. Schedule a Weekly “Tune-Up” Conversation
We often fix our cars or update our software before they break. Why not do the same for your relationship?
How to Do It:
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Choose a calm, low-distraction time (like a Sunday evening).
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Ask each other: “Anything from this week bothering you?” “What went well for us?”
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Focus on solutions rather than blame.
Why It Works:
Addressing minor issues before they explode fosters a more peaceful home environment. This approach is championed by Esther Perel, a renowned relationship expert you can learn more from at EstherPerel.com. She advocates regular check-ins to keep small cracks from becoming huge rifts.
8. Develop Empathy Through “Perspective Taking”
When arguments flare, it’s usually because each person feels unheard or misunderstood. Practising perspective taking can rapidly de-escalate conflict.
How to Do It:
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Pause in mid-argument and silently ask, “How might my partner feel right now?”
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Voice your guess: “I sense you’re feeling dismissed?”
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Invite correction: “Is that correct, or am I missing something?”
Why It Works:
Showing genuine curiosity about your partner’s viewpoint helps them feel respected. Also, by calmly naming what might be going on, you reduce tension and prevent misunderstandings.
9. Encourage Each Other’s Passions
Individual growth fuels the collective strength of a couple. Show that you care about what lights up your partner—be it painting, marathon training, or a new side business.
How to Do It:
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Ask questions about your partner’s interests: “What do you love about it?”
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Offer tangible support—help them free up time, or provide encouragement.
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Celebrate milestones—if they accomplish a step in their passion project, cheer them on.
Why It Works:
When each person feels validated in who they are outside the relationship, the love bond deepens. This idea echoes Dr. John Gottman’s concept of “turning towards”—actively engaging with your partner’s interests or emotional bids.
10. Seek Outside Help if Needed
If there’s ongoing tension, past betrayals, or growing resentment, a daily hug and a new date night may not be enough. Recognising when professional support is needed is a brave step.
How to Do It:
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Browse the services of the Relate Therapy Team.
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Book a consultation—even a single session can clarify deeper patterns.
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Stay open-minded—therapy is a tool to break negative cycles, not a sign of failure.
Why It Works:
Unresolved issues can erode trust over time. Getting expert guidance ensures you’re not tackling sensitive or complex problems alone.
Conclusion
No one wants a tragic “we drifted apart” story—we sign up for marriage or a committed partnership believing it will bring connection, support, and joy. Yet, keeping a relationship strong requires consistent daily attention—the kind that may only take a few minutes but can yield a lifetime of closeness.
These 10 practices are intentionally simple, because small steps can lead to big transformations. If you’re keen to go beyond the basics, remember that Relate’s School of Love offers a structured way to learn deeper communication and conflict resolution skills. Beyond that, if deeper wounds or complex issues arise, the Relate Therapy Team is here to guide you.
Key Takeaway: Whether you’re sending a midday text of appreciation or hugging a little longer when you come home, every intentional act becomes a building block for a more resilient relationship. And yes, men—these skills can make all the difference in how your partner perceives your care and commitment. Embrace them, be consistent, and watch the atmosphere at home shift from mundane to meaningful.
