Betrayal First Aid
Discovering an affair is a reality shattering event. Overwhelming feelings, swirling thoughts, our body in shock. It impacts not just the betrayed but their children, family and friends.
Surviving the first week is an immense task that requires a series of targeted care interventions to minimise further damage.
This Seminar will prepare you to help yourself or another:
- Ride the waves of emotions
- Regulate your body to reinitiate sleep and eating patterns
- Manage dysregulated thinking including extinction and suicidal thoughts
Whether you are an affair survivor or therapist or helper working with someone who has been betrayed, this highly practical seminar will give you practical tools to get through this critical period.
‘Topics covered include:
- What to Avoid
- Simplifying Self Care
- Creating Safe Connections
- Re-Regulating the Body
- Managing the Why
When: July 26 11AM - 12PM NZST
Where: Online via Zoom
Participants will be emailed the zoom link the day before the event.
Upcoming: August 7 - September 25 11AM-1:30PM NZST
Working with Intimate Partner Betrayal, Affairs, and Broken Trust using PORT
Intimate Partner Betrayal is one of the most common reasons couples present for therapy. Couples present in high distress, and therapy has the potential to be chaotic and overwhelming for both the clients and therapists. Research indicates that fewer than 5% of couples therapists are specifically trained in working with betrayal. Working with betrayal will prepare you with an understanding of the current research around betrayal and an implementable approach to guide your couple through the process.
RegisterUnderstanding the 'Why' In Betrayal: Mapping the Sexual and Developmental Blueprint
Course Overview:
When couples are dealing with the aftermath of an affair, recovery requires a deep examination of their sexual blueprints and significant changes to these blueprints. This course will provide you with the knowledge and tools to guide your clients through this challenging but ultimately transformative process.
Key Concepts:
- Understanding the distinction between love, attachment, and sexual desire as related but separate developmental tasks
- How individuals unconsciously construct their sexual blueprints throughout their lives
- The impact of early childhood experiences, parents, and teenage years on shaping sexual blueprints
- Navigating the intense cultural and emotional constraints that come with exploring sexual blueprints
Course Objectives:
By the end of this course, you will be able to:
- Support your clients in managing intense shame and fear as they explore their sexual blueprints
- Guide couples through a step-by-step process of disclosure and blueprint exploration following a betrayal
- Understand the expected outcomes of this process and how it can lead to deeper intimacy and healing
Who Should Attend:
This course is designed for couples therapists and counselors looking to deepen their understanding of sexual blueprints and how to navigate the complex process of disclosure and healing after an affair.
Course Format:
This is an online seminar featuring a combination of lecture, case examples, and opportunities for Q&A. You will have access to downloadable slides and handouts.
About the Presenter:
Steven Dromgool is a relationship therapist specializing in couples therapy and affairs. They have extensive experience working with couples recovering from infidelity and rebuilding their relationships.
Where: Online via Zoom - participants will be emailed a zoom link 24 hours before the training.
When: July 30, 11 AM - 12:30 PM NZST
Presence Oriented Relationship Therapy (PORT)
Created as a training model, PORT is a solution focused relationship therapy. PORT identifies specific relationship targets for a couple which were developed based upon the key insights over the last 40 years. These insights are based on research and practice of John and Julie Gottman, Imago Relationship Therapy, Emotionally Focussed Therapy, PACT, Heart and the Developmental Model. PORT recognizes that couples are in each other’s care and utilizing this relationship allows for powerful validation, motivation, support and effectiveness.
Key Features
Among PORT’s innovations are the integration of the PORT Relational Brain Model that makes neuroscientific insights accessible for both clinicians and clients; The Presence Bridge Model which incorporates existential and mindfulness into the bridge concept; and the 5 Step Therapy Progress Model (AARNI) which informs intervention and manages client conflict.
Relational Brain Model
PORT’s Relational Brain model helps therapists target their interventions using neuroscientific insights. PORT is centered on teaching couples to co-develop connection skills with language that aligns with lived experience and avoids neuroscientific jargon. This allows for therapists to intervene rapidly with couples for emotional regulation and minimizing conflict through the course of therapy. It aligns developmental stages with needs and validation strategies; varying proxemic, haptic, kinesic and verbal empathy strategies; and how to triage seemingly paradoxical developmental attachment needs in the moment.
Presence Bridge Model
The Presence Bridge Model helps tracking couples moment to moment within the the session; and the 5 Step Therapy Progress Model (AARNI) which helps therapist track progress over the course of therapy and plan interventions appropriately
The goal of all couples therapy is increased connection. PORT is based on the idea that increasing presence allows the greatest possibilities for connection. PORT’s Presence Bridge Model provides a progressive developmental and tracking pathway to support presence. It helps therapists guide their couples into a mindful flow state incorporating empathy, validation, responsiveness and appreciation.
Additionally the Presence Bridge Model enables clinicians to integrate a wide variety of interventions from a range of other couple and individual therapy models.
A key benefit of combining the Presence Bridge Model with the Relational Brain model is that it equips the therapist to attune quickly to the neural configuration of the couple, identify neurodevelopmental challenges in the moment, and apply developmentally appropriate interventions. This significantly increases the range of clients who can be treated effectively and speedily through couples therapy.
5 Step Therapy Progress Model
A key challenge in any therapy work is progress tracking. The 5 Step Therapy Progress Model (AARNI) was developed by the RElate team to help guide and track progress through the affair recovery progress. AARNI helps therapists know where they are going and to hone their interventions appropriately to the stage the couple is at and the challenges of that stage. It also helps identify when couples are progressing or regressing. Additionally AARNI helps manage the couples expectations and let them know how they are doing in the journey.
Comparison to other Models
PORT is an intensely practical couples therapy modality that developed from the ground up out of the challenge of equipping a diverse team, including interns, with the most effective strategies from models as diverse as PACT, EFT, Imago, Gottman and the Developmental Model. What became clear is that each of these models offered significant strengths but often lacked essential features or flexibilities present in other models. In addition insights from other modalities including Narrative, ACT, NLP, Psychodrama, Gestalt, Relational Neurobiology were incorporated. PORT’s challenge and achievement has been to integrate these diverse insights into an accessible, flexible and powerful approach that empowers clinicians while allowing them to incorporate their own unique insights and experience.
Students can learn PORT in 3 steps.
- PORT Level 1, professionals can complete this via the PESI training or through Relate Unlimited with a post-assessment.
- PORT Level 2, after completing PORT Level 1, professionals are eligible to register. Professionals are taught to utilize PORT skills in vivo.
- PORT Group Supervision, after completing PORT Level 2, professionals are invited to participate in ongoing group supervision and case presentation.
Relate also offers specialised training in working with affairs, betrayals and trust problems.
Introduction to Presence Oriented Relationship Therapy
Blog posts
Understand Relationships: The Search for Connection
Relate specializes in marriage and relationship therapy. If we had a motto, it could be "Searching for Connection." We understand that relationships can be challenging and it's often unclear how to...
PORT: Integrated Couples Therapy
Relate and PESI are offering a 16 hour course about integrating the most powerful interventions in couples therapy. This is the Level 1 PORT training. Go here to register. Dates: Weekly Feb 6 - Mar...
Relate is Partnering with PESI: How to Break the Pursuer / Distancer Cycle
Relate is proud to be partnering with PESI to offer a free resource to the professional community. On January 31 5:30 AEDT Steven will present 'How to Break the Pursuer / Distancer Cycle.' To regi...
Video
PORT's Focus
Port's focus was simple and driven by the clear imperative of research that indicated that untrained therapist's working with couples were highly unsucessful and the therapy process itself was highly stressful for the couple and the therapist.
The Challenge
The challenge of course is that everyone needs to start somewhere and our focus was to support our interns to be successful as soon as possible.
Innovation
While Steven was cross-training in Imago, Gottman and EFT he noticed a recurring pattern underlying their seemingly different methods. Steven adapted the Relational bridge model for interns to use and tested this among the team. The developmental brain model was the next innovation that made relational neuroscience accessible to clinicians and clients and therapy progress model among other innovations.
Feedback
The feedback from PORT trained therapists is that they quickly felt confident to hold a relational space for the couple that felt safe for deep intimate connecting work and that they had strategies to help them contain and manage conflict. Additionally clinicians could maintain and develop their own unique authentic style and presence and incorporate other training and experience more seamlessly and effectively.
PORT's Focus
Port's focus was simple and driven by the clear imperative of research that indicated that untrained therapist's working with couples were highly unsucessful and the therapy process itself was highly stressful for the couple and the therapist.
The Challenge
The challenge of course is that everyone needs to start somewhere and our focus was to support our interns to be successful as soon as possible.
Innovation
While Steven was cross-training in Imago, Gottman and EFT he noticed a recurring pattern underlying their seemingly different methods. Steven adapted the Relational bridge model for interns to use and tested this among the team. The developmental brain model was the next innovation that made relational neuroscience accessible to clinicians and clients and therapy progress model among other innovations.
Feedback
The feedback from PORT trained therapists is that they quickly felt confident to hold a relational space for the couple that felt safe for deep intimate connecting work and that they had strategies to help them contain and manage conflict. Additionally clinicians could maintain and develop their own unique authentic style and presence and incorporate other training and experience more seamlessly and effectively.
Contact Us